Chronicle (Movie)

Three sides to one-third.

Telekinetic thriller.

Carry a smart phone.

My cousin Chris sent me a text message early last week. It read, “have you seen this yet? If not we should go. Looks dope!” A link was attached to a movie I’d seen previews for but instantly put on my mental list of “Movies to Watch... Eventually”. Now this list belongs strictly, if one were to create a Venn diagram, where the segments “Have nothing to do”, “Remembered something”, “My bandwidth isn’t being used right now for anything constructive” and “have a need to wear my eye patch”* intersect. So, as you can see, Chronicle did not rate high on my watch list as opposed to, say, The Avengers movie which easily resides in the large and all encompassing finite collection titled “Imperative to Life”. But I digress, on with the review.

Three sides to one-third.

So as the trailer gives away, this is the story of three characters who each attain telekinetic powers while adventuring into a underground cave. The plot is nothing stunning, I’ll give it that, but the execution was, to say the least, thoroughly entertaining. For the first act we are treated to handycam filmed hi-jinx of the teen-trio as they discover the limits of their fledgling powers, all the while peppered with disharmonious scenes of abuse the character Andrew Detmer suffers at the hands of his father. Not to give too much of the plot away, this abuse sets up two causalities: one, drives the plot forward; and two, gives us a character that has more than one dimension. The operative word here being: One.

All visual affects and entertaining pranks that resonate with jack-ass comedy aside, the fact that the people involved in writing this film did not take the time to flesh out the rest of the characters gives us no reason to cheer for a victory, or praise the film as more than the heartless piece of entertainment it is. We simply leave the theatre with a feelings akin to beating a toddler in a game of tackle football: pity and emptiness. There is no rejoicing, or internal conflict. Just an overwhelming sense of: shit, that was a downer. The movie ran a paltry 84 minutes, so I can only attribute the lack of depth in the other two protagonist to budget constraints and/or laziness.

Telekinetic thriller.

Beyond my need as a writer to have characters that are dripping with reason, back story, and a motive to connect with them, Chronicle was AMAZING. If you aren’t the type to enjoy comic books, movies based on comic books, or novelizations based on movies that were actually based on comic books (it’s a very niche market, but it exists, I assure you.) then you probably won’t enjoy Chronicle. But if you are an intelligent, handsome, extremely loved human being, like myself and the people I keep company with, then, well, this movie is right up your alleyway.

The effects are not exactly top notch, some of the CGI effects look, well, like they belong in a pixar movie. There are instances where they look real, and there are instances where their colouring or lighting might be off. Thankfully, the effects are more the former than the latter. While this might seem like nitpicking, it’s actually distracting if I’m thinking, “Hey, that doesn’t look real.” But then again, for 12 million, I shouldn’t expect Industrial grade Light and Magic.

Aside from that though, the script is solid and the idea that the entire film is being captured by the more-creepy-than-artsy-type-filming-we-saw-in-American-Beauty-Ala-Ricky-Fitts is surprisingly carried through the entire film without breaking character. At least for what I could see, and if you’re watching the movie tracking that... well, I’m sure people who wank and finger-bang to the “Goofs” section of IMDB will want to shake your hand.

Carry a Smart Phone.

This isn’t so much part of the review as it is a public service announcement. If you find yourself at the movie theatre and the lines for both human and automated ticket servers are akin to “Last Spaceship off of Earth Before the Highly Advanced Dinosaurs Crawl Out of the Depths of the Earth to Eat or Rule All Beings Remaining, We’re Not Sure” lines, then be thankful if you have a smart phone. There’s a little used kiosk in most Cineplex Odeon theaters that can be communicated to via your smartphone to produce tickets. AMAZING. We faced one of these lines, but Chris spotted the machine and we quickly jumped on our smartphones while queuing. Long story short, we moved inches in the time it took us order and receive our booking number. I love technology. That is all.

Oh, go see Chronicle. It’s pretty good. I thought it entertaining, and the lady in front of me must’ve thought I was really into it because during one of the more intense scenes, my cellphone went off [an alarm to take my anti-psychotics,(kidding.)] and I kicked the SHIT out of her chair, effectively launching her forward, while trying to straighten my leg to get at the whaling and vibrating technology in my pocket. Still, I love you technology. That never changes, xoxo.

*it’s a piracy reference. ARGH, matey.